Monday, April 11, 2011

Forgive Me

So I don't know who wrote this post and I know it appeals to everything that is wrong with me.  But for others who struggle with social anxiety or ever have--enjoy this blog.  Just click on the title "Forgive me" and enjoy "Social Entrapment."

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Conference Week End

I am now beginning my long six month wait for the next LDS General Conference.  It is my favorite time of the year. My family travels from all parts of the United States to stay at "the grandma house". Originally, the house was owned by my grandparents.  My great-grandpa lived there too after his wife passed away.  Every summer I would go and spend time with them.  I learned to love gardening at the house while helping my grandma plant petunias and I learned to trust God sitting at her beautiful dining room table discussing the things that mattered most to her and her father.  The crystal chandelier caught not only light from the bulb, but the faith of my progenitors and the refractions hung in the air strengthening my resolve to live the life God intended for me.  My grandparents have been gone for ages now--only my oldest kids ever met them; but as the family all surrounds that same table we all are strengthened and enlightened. 

The LDS conference includes eight hours of general meetings where the entire membership of our faith can listen to our leaders. We get to sit and listen to a prophet of God.  It is wonderful; the tabernacle choir always adds such faith and beauty to the meetings.  Every year someone gives a talk that seems specifically for me.  I sit with my family all around me--my mother, my sister, my children, my spouse.  Often the cousins break into groups according to their age with the youngest always congregating in the basement where their noise will not bother the rest trying to listen.  We listen intently and then discuss and debate about what we heard and what we will change in our lives.  Every year someone in the family shares about how God is blessing them.  We also always end up talking about how amazing it is how much we all love each other.  We say no one can every understand how important cousins are; actually, I often slip and call my cousins "my niece" because that feels closer to the relationship I have with them.  I am in awe of those beautiful women that I have watched grow up.  They are so intelligent, beautiful, and capable.

We eat the best food--especially the rolls--we laugh, we cry, we hug, and we leave ready to stand firm in our faith.

Now everyone has headed home.  The humdrum of everyday life must begin again--but the joy and laughter continues to refract in the crystal chandelier hanging in my own dining room and the determination I first felt as a child at my grandma's table continues to grow. I hope my children will remember not only the crystal shimmering above our table, but the warmth of  faith we have shared while eating under its magical light.